It all started when I saw a booklet.
I asked my friend: "What's that?"
He responded, "It's the Alpha Course Handbook. You want to join us?"
Well like most of us, I think that God is a subjective issue where we can choose to either believe or not to believe. Because at the end of the day, nobody can ever prove it.
You can tell me a million times: "There is God. There is God!"
But ultimately: Can you prove it to me?
That is, of course not the question I would ask when I am surrounded with 20+ Christians.
I said to myself: These people have a major problem.
They better better get real.
Look beyond these walls, there is no justice in this world, there is no love and forgiveness.
If you claim that there IS a God, where is Him?
Why did he even allow evil to exist?
However, I have completed the course,
get the basic understanding of Christianity,
followed the routine Sunday worship service,
hang around the church with friends which I made along the way.
And after a year I left the church,
Still believing God is a subjective issue.
I carried on with my life.
Worked like a horse to earn a living,
Raise my voice to my parents when my freedom is restrained,
Ended a 3 months old relationship on Valentine Day.
I accept whatever it comes to my life.
I do whatever it deem fit in my life.
I am going to die one day,
That is all I can do with my life.
A life for myself.
A lifeless life.
In contrast,
I can't stop to wonder why there's a man called Jesus Christ,
who claimed himself as the savior of mankind,
A man who trusted God so much,
for even until his own death on the cross,
he has never deny that he know the true living God.
But Instead he cried out:
"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)
Why?
Soon after for a long long while,
when I come to my senses,
I realized that,
To have passion to live a life,
You have to know how passionate Christ has lived his.
Because that he had touched my life,
I will seek for the truth that He proclaimed,
the abundant life that He has promised.
This is going to be a lifelong journey.